Sensory self-care for neurodivergent women over 45 is easy, if you keep it simple and small. Here are six kinds of sensory regulation for autistic women and women with ADHD that bring joy.
The story.
Coloring books? For adults? I never heard of such a thing. But the idea somehow didn’t sound silly.
Still, it was at least another year before I realized it would be nice to have one on hand. As a postmenopausal neurodivergent woman, I need to relax before bed, but having nothing to do makes me restless. As it happened, the YouTuber from whom I was learning zendoodling had a few coloring books for sale on Amazon.
I bought one.
A few days after it arrived, I sat down with a box of markers, the book, and relaxing instrumental music in the background. I chose a color and began. The movement of the marker in my hand soothed my anxious thoughts. As the page came alive with color, a light happiness tickled my brain.
Perhaps not five minutes passed before something shifted in my soul. The angst of the day slid away, my churning thoughts settled, and a quiet joy infused my being.
Sensory regulation: the best part of my day.
For us neurodivergent women over 50, small moments of fulfillment are what keep us going, what help us to maintain a sense of purpose. And because of our emotional dysregulation and touchy nervous systems, a big part of fulfillment comes from simply engaging our senses in a way that calms and rejuvenates.
For me, the periods of the day when I take a few seconds or a few minutes to indulge my senses are the best. The indulgences help me not only to calm down and relax, but also to ground myself in the moment. This grounding brings clarity of mind, focus, and – best of all – a burst of positive feelings.
You may have just figured out at your tender age of over forty-five that you’re neurodivergent, and you’re trying to figure out how to care for yourself better. Or you may have recently found that hitting menopause has taken your sensory and emotional sensitivities to a whole new level, and you’re wondering what the hay you can do to bring them down a notch.
Whatever reason you’ve arrived to this humble blog post, welcome. Allow me to share six ideas that help me and many other peri- and post-menopausal, neurodivergent women with sensory regulation as well as emotional regulation.
1. Nature walks.
By far my favorite. I never feel more spiritually connected than when I’m taking a walk in a place where I’m surrounded by trees, grass, and other vegetation. As my family lives in a rural area, just stepping outside the front door brings me instant calm.
The beautiful view is at once stimulating and relaxing. The sounds of birds, leaves rustling, and bees humming (in the summer) alleviate within minutes the stress of having to listen to machine sounds like air conditioners and refrigerators.
Nature provides soothing textures, too. Let’s look at that next.
2. Texture delights.
When I first bought chenille sweaters for winter wear, I was just hoping they’d keep my cold-blooded self warm. How delighted I was to discover that wearing them made me feel pampered and cozy!
Sometimes when I’m feeling particularly anxious, I’ll thrust my hand into a small bag containing synthetic down filling. Or I might wrap both my hands around a glass jar and luxuriate in the smooth feeling against my fingers’ nerve endings.
Outside, you might pick up a smooth stone and rub it between your fingers. Or stroke the silky, delicate petal of a flower.
Ah, flowers! Which can lead to a different kind of sensory delight.
3. Sensory regulation with a small sniff.
Due to my rebellious postmenopausal digestive tract, gluten and I no longer get along well. But in my definitely not very humble opinion, there is nothing like the aroma of bread baking. Cinnamon rolls and apple pies take a close second. The yeasty scent combined with either spice or fruit can probably stop a meltdown in its tracks.
If you enjoy baking, be sure to take advantage of the wonderful smells in the air. If any scent beats lavender for its calming effect, it has to be freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies!
Scented candles are great for sensory regulation, too. Even if you never light them, you can have a few strategically placed around your house so that you can lift them up and take a big whiff of your favorite “flavor” whenever you feel the need.
4. Zendoodling or coloring.
As I hinted in the introductory story, coloring in a coloring book is similar to nature in that it taps into more than one sense. Sit down and lose yourself in a page right after a difficult phone call, or to help yourself wind down before bed.
Speaking of awesome rituals for autistic women to carry out before bed…
5. Warm baths or showers.
Depending on where your sensitivities lie, one of these may not work for you. But for most neurodivergent women, the feel of warm water on their body is like a soft comforter wrapped around them. And for neurodivergent women over 50 dealing with the notorious difficulty in going to sleep, soaking in a warm tub of water helps like nothing else.
Add the next idea, and your chances of falling asleep within a few minutes of your head hitting the pillow triple.
6. Listen to sounds that feed your emotional need.
It took me way too long to buy a noise machine. It’s one of the originals, not digital, simply running a small but powerful fan. The noise covers up every small sound that would otherwise annoy me and keep me awake.
You might prefer the sound of rain, or birds chirping. Experiment and see what your ears appreciate the most.
For days when my head feels like it’s spinning, or for nights when I’m feeling more awake than I want to, relaxing instrumental music helps me to forget my troubles. And when the ADHD side of my brain starts complaining about how boring life is, I listen to upbeat ‘80s music.
Sensory self-care for neurodivergent women over 45: not an option!
The most fulfilling life is a simple life. For us neurodivergent women over 45, sensory overwhelm makes life more complicated by the stress it causes. So I hope this article has inspired you to take time each day to reset your system by indulging in sensory regulation, which is effectively emotional regulation.
The above list is far from comprehensive. Use it as a springboard to come up with your own ideas. Share some of those ideas in the comments.
And if you’d like a simple tool to remind you of your body’s signals that you’re going into overload, try these printable cards.
A great companion to the cards is this “cheat sheet” containing a list of ideas for resetting your nervous system using your senses.
Have great a day filled with small sensory joys! 🙂
