Medical advocacy for neurodivergent adults is often tricky to find. Here are 50 scripts to help you advocate for yourself with medical professionals.
The story.
I limped out of the clinic, my mind reeling. What did the X-ray show? A compressed disc? And I guess she agreed with me that I had sacroiliac joint dysfunction, though she never used the term. Just printed out a couple of sheets of exercises and recommended a steroid injection for the pain.
At home and finally settled in a semi-reclined position on the bed, I took a careful look at the paper that listed the diagnosis.
Lumbar spondylosis? What had she said about that? Something about aging?
But I was healthy, and that sounded… bad. A quick Internet search revealed several websites calling it a “disease.”
Wait, what? Was the pain in my back being caused by this…thing? The healthcare person never did say. I had no idea if the two were connected.
Why hadn’t I asked more questions while I had the chance? Everything went by so fast. I should’ve made her explain things more clearly.
Or, again, if I’d missed them.
The pain in my back was nothing now compared to the confusion swirling around inside my head.
What to say at a doctor appointment – ADHD and autism make it hard.
Sometimes, you have to see a health care provider. But if you’re neurodivergent, you not only have pathological demand avoidance around making an appointment, but also once you get there, feel too anxious to talk to the doctor.
The hormonal upheaval women experience in their forties and fifties doesn’t help.
Worse, under pressure by HMOs, doctors are in a hurry. They interrupt while you’re trying to explain your symptoms. They rush you. So you end up stuttering, mixing up words, or clamming up altogether.
Then, like I did, you leave the appointment barely able to recall what went on there. And the “official diagnosis” papers can lead you to believe your body is falling apart.
As you can tell by the story above, I empathize with you totally. So, let me help you remember what to tell the doctor, organize your thoughts for medical appointments, and get a handle of your executive dysfunction during doctor visits.
I offer you the following list of doctor appointment scripts to modify and use as needed.
But one thing before we continue. Medical doctors generally disapprove of you giving yourself a medical label unless you’ve been formally diagnosed. Unless they’re your primary doctor and you’ve already discussed the issue, refrain from using phrases like, “I have ADHD/autism, so I need…”
The last thing you need when your stomach is already tied in knots is an argument with a medical professional.
Feel free to copy and paste the remainder of this blog post into a document that you can print out or upload onto a device.
Medical advocacy scripts for neurodivergent adults.
Opening the Appointment
When you need to set expectations:
- “I might need to reference my notes during our conversation. I’ve written everything down so I don’t forget the important details.”
- “I process information better when it’s written down. Would it be possible for you to email me a summary of what we discuss today?”
- “I sometimes have trouble organizing my thoughts verbally. I’ve brought a written list of my concerns in order of priority.”
When you’re anxious:
- “I have anxiety about medical appointments, so I may seem nervous. That doesn’t mean my symptoms aren’t real or serious.”
- “I find eye contact difficult, but I’m listening carefully to everything you’re saying.”
Describing Symptoms
When you forget things easily:
- “I’ve been tracking my symptoms in a journal/app. May I show you what I’ve documented?”
- “I’m worried I’ll forget something important. Can I refer to my notes while we talk?”
When symptoms are hard to articulate:
- “I have trouble putting my physical sensations into words. Can I describe it using comparisons? It feels like…”
- “I’ve brought photos/videos of when my symptoms are at their worst. Would that be helpful?”
When you’re concerned about being taken seriously:
- “I know this might sound vague, but this is significantly impacting my quality of life and daily functioning.”
- “These symptoms are preventing me from [specific activity]. This is not normal for me.”
- “I’ve researched my symptoms and I’m concerned it might be [condition]. Can we explore that possibility?”
Requesting Specific Care
For diagnostic testing:
- “Based on my symptoms, I’d like to request testing for [specific condition]. What would that process look like?”
- “I meet several criteria for [condition]. Can we discuss whether an evaluation would be appropriate?”
- “My symptoms align with [condition]. I’d like to either rule it out or confirm it with proper testing.”
For referrals:
- “I think I need specialist care for this. Can you refer me to [type of specialist]?”
- “My symptoms have persisted for [timeframe] despite [what you’ve tried]. I’d like a referral to explore other options.”
For accommodations during appointments:
- “Can I have appointments early in the day when my executive function is better?”
- “Would it be possible to have a longer appointment time? I need extra time to process information.”
- “Can we keep the lighting dimmed? I have sensory sensitivities to bright lights.”
- “Is there a quieter space we could use? The waiting room is overwhelming for me.”
When You’re Not Being Heard
Assertive but respectful pushback:
- “I appreciate your perspective, but I know my body. These symptoms are not normal for me, and I need us to investigate further.”
- “I’ve tried [previous suggestions] and they haven’t helped. What are our other options?”
- “I’m not comfortable dismissing these symptoms. What tests can we run to rule out serious conditions?”
- “I need you to document in my chart that you’re declining to [test/refer/treat]. Can you explain your medical reasoning?”
When dismissed as anxiety:
- “I do have anxiety, but these are physical symptoms that started before my anxiety increased. I need both addressed separately.”
- “My anxiety is a response to these undiagnosed symptoms, not the cause of them.”
When you need to escalate:
- “I’d like a second opinion. Can you refer me to a colleague?”
- “I’m going to seek care elsewhere. Can you provide me with copies of all my records?”
- “I’d like to file a complaint about how this concern was handled. What’s the process for that?”
Asking for Clarification
When instructions are unclear:
- “Can you write those instructions down for me or email them?”
- “Let me repeat back what you said to make sure I understand correctly.”
- “Can you break that down into smaller steps?”
- “What should I do if [specific scenario happens]?”
When you need time to process:
- “This is a lot of information. Can I have a moment to process before we continue?”
- “Can I schedule a follow-up appointment after I’ve had time to think about this?”
- “Can I bring someone to my next appointment to help me process the information?”
Regarding medication:
- “I’m often more sensitive to medications than typical patients. Can we start with a lower dose?”
- “How will this interact with my [medications]?”
- “What are the side effects I should watch for, specifically related to sensory sensitivity or executive function?”
Advocating for Neurodivergent-Specific Needs
NOTE: Only use these if you have a formal diagnosis of a neurodivergent condition, or if your doctor accepts your self-diagnosis.
Regarding medication:
- “I have ADHD/autism, and I’m often more sensitive to medications than typical patients. Can we start with a lower dose?”
- “How will this interact with my [ADHD medication/other medications]?”
- “What are the side effects I should watch for, specifically related to sensory sensitivity or executive function?”
Regarding menopause/hormones:
- “I’ve read that hormonal changes can significantly impact ADHD/autistic symptoms. Can we discuss hormone replacement therapy?”
- “My neurodivergent symptoms have gotten much worse since perimenopause started. How can we address both issues?”
- “What percentage of your patients with ADHD/autism have you treated for menopause? Do you have experience with this intersection?”
Communication Preferences
Setting up future communication:
- “Can I email you with follow-up questions rather than calling? Phone calls are difficult for me.”
- “Is there a patient portal where I can message you? I communicate better in writing.”
- “Can my appointment reminders be sent via text instead of phone calls?”
Closing the Appointment
Ensuring you have what you need:
- “Let me make sure I understand the next steps: [repeat them back].”
- “What should I do if my symptoms get worse before our next appointment?”
- “When should I follow up with you, and what’s the best way to do that?”
- “Can I have a printed summary of today’s visit?”
Bringing Support
If you bring someone with you:
- “I’ve brought [person] to help me remember what we discuss and to advocate for me if I have trouble explaining something.”
- “I may ask [person] to help me describe my symptoms if I’m struggling to find the words.”
Tips for Using These Scripts:
- Practice beforehand – Say them out loud or with a friend.
- Bring them written down – Don’t rely on memory in a stressful situation.
- Adjust the language – Make them sound like YOU.
- Don’t apologize excessively – You have a right to clear communication and good care.
- It’s okay to be direct – You don’t need to soften every request.
- Trust your instincts – If a doctor isn’t working with you, find another one.
