Tired from menopause insomnia? Your morning routine might be the missing piece. Simple, relatable tips for 45+ neurodivergent women to sleep better tonight.
The story.
Okay. Tonight I was going to do it right. I was going to follow all the rules so I could finally get a good night’s sleep.
An hour before bed, I turned off my computer. I sat down for a while and drew a colorful design while listening to relaxing instrumental music. Then with slow, meditative movements, I tidied the kitchen.
Once in bed, I smeared a high-quality lavender oil on the soles of both my feet. After lying down, I repeated a short prayer as a kind of mantra. I was asleep within minutes.
Three hours later, I woke up for no apparent reason. It took me fifteen minutes to go back to sleep. Another three hours passed, and I woke up again.
This time, nothing I did – nothing – helped me get back to sleep.
Menopause insomnia tips are almost worthless without this one key.
I’ve no doubt that many – if not most – of my readers have experienced something similar to the above scenario. If that’s you, and you’re like me, you probably just resigned yourself to crappy sleep for the rest of your life because “it’s just hormones.”
Maybe so. Or maybe it’s because better sleep starts when you wake up.
Turns out, there are simple morning habits that lead to better sleep, and a well-rounded morning routine for women over 45 will include them.
Yeah, I know. Like, why didn’t somebody tell me that when I was forty? Well, I’m telling YOU now, and I hope these simple tweaks make a difference for you.
The truth about your body’s natural rhythms.
I’m sure you’ve heard of the “circadian rhythm.” It’s an internal clock that helps us feel energetic in the morning and sleepy at night… sleepy enough so that we fall asleep quickly, and then stay asleep.
I discussed in this post about evening rituals to help menopausal neurodivergent women to get better quality sleep how hormonal shifts affect women in their mid-forties and beyond. Dropping levels of estrogen – and to a lesser extent, progesterone – affect with everything neurological, including that circadian rhythm.
Also as I stated in that previous article, this influence can affect us neurodivergent women more acutely. We already carry extra stress thanks to sensory sensitivities and executive dysfunction. Our brain chemistry is already at least a little “off.” So when menopause hits, everything gets further off balance, which knocks our circadian rhythm sideways.
To add insult to injury, the production of melatonin – that oh-so-yearned-for sleep chemical – falls off steeply in postmenopausal women.
However, we can help our bodies to get that rhythm back into balance. We can hit “reset” on the internal clock, and we can do it by improving our morning routine.
For real. What you do at eight in the morning really does affect how quickly you go to sleep at night, and how well you stay asleep. It’s the number one key to beating menopause sleep problems.
Or at least to forcing them to lie down in a corner and whimper.
Five menopause morning routine shifts that help.
Before I continue, I want to remind you that I can’t guarantee any of the following menopause insomnia tips will work for you. Everyone’s different, and we’re all dealing with our own stuff.
However, as with the quiet evening rituals, the following morning routine additions should help you to at least a small extent, some of the time.
And when you’re desperate to sleep, sometimes that “small extent” is like a life raft for a woman drowning in daytime sleepiness.
Here are the shifts to make.
Shift #1: Get outside early.
For at least fifteen minutes as soon as the sun has arisen (or as soon as you can afterward), go outside. If you can stand it, go without sunglasses. I find that the brim of my cap is enough to keep the early sunlight from irritating me.
You might:
- Drink your morning coffee or tea on the porch.
- Walk the dog.
- Do some weeding in the flower or vegetable beds.
- Take your morning nature walk.
- Stand in your backyard and meditate or pray with your eyes open.
This helps because your brain can tell the difference between morning light and evening light. Direct exposure to morning light says to your brain, “Hey! It’s morning right now!” After it receives that signal, it starts counting down the hours, and at just the right time shifts the cortisol and melatonin levels in your body so that you’re sleepy at bedtime.
Let me clarify: by “direct exposure,” I do NOT mean in the SLIGHTEST that you should look directly into the sun! No no no no no no no no!!! What I mean is being outside without anything, such as sunglasses or a window, filtering the sun’s light as it flows into your eyes.
Moving on.
Don’t discount cloudy days; your brain can still detect the sun’s rays. If you have to stand at a sunny window, that’s better than nothing. However, direct exposure will always be more effective.
Shift #2: Wake up at the same time every day.
I know you’ve heard this piece of advice before. But since you’re struggling with sleep, maybe – just a little maybe – you’ve been ignoring the advice and need to hear it again?
Waking up at the same time every morning, including on weekends, helps to stabilize your circadian rhythm. Your habit forces the rhythm into a habit. Sleeping longer on your days off confuses the wonderful mix of hormones and neurotransmitters that make your internal clock tick, leading to difficulty going to sleep and staying asleep at night, as well as difficulty in maintaining the same wake-up hours on the days you have to get up early.
If you’ve been a naughty girl and have allowed yourself to sleep in on your days off, start small to get your body back in the habit of waking up at around the same time every day. Choose a thirty-minute window for your wake-up time, rather than an exact time. For example, “I’ll get up between seven and seven-thirty” instead of, “I’ll get up at seven-fifteen.”
If you can’t stand using alarms, gradually shift your wake-up time earlier by fifteen-minute increments. For example, if you’re waking up at eight-fifteen right now but know your life will go more smoothly if you get up at seven-fifteen, aim to get up at eight o’clock for the next two to three days. Then, seven forty-five for two to three days. And so on until you’re waking up at seven fifteen.
Shift #3: Get moving.
I’ve noticed that I usually get my best sleep on pleasant days that lure me outside to walk more and putter around in the yard and garden more. Though I can’t sit very long and am active even inside the house, that activity doesn’t compare to the movement my body gets when I’m taking fifteen-minute walks or weeding for ten minutes.
You don’t need boot camp-type regimens or marathon training to get the movement your body needs for a restful night’s sleep. Keep it simple and at your current level of fitness.
For example:
- Stretching,
- Moderate walking,
- Dancing to one song,
- A few minutes of Tai Chi,
- Light weightlifting.
Any of the activities listed in my post about fun fitness for neurodivergent women will also do.
Morning movement seems to help with nighttime sleep (see this study as a reference). Afternoon movement for menopause fitness works as well. You just don’t want to do intentional fitness movement too close to bedtime, because that will increase your cortisol levels and reduce the precious melatonin you need for beddy-bye time.
To reduce demand avoidance and bypass executive dysfunction, lay out whatever clothes or shoes you need for morning movement the night before.
Shift #4: Make sure you eat a nutritious breakfast.
This means:
- whole foods,
- nutrient-dense,
- plenty of protein (no fruit-only meals!), and possibly
- foods high in magnesium (spinach in an omelet, avocado on toast, a couple of squares of dark chocolate).
The reason for the last is that it will facilitate muscle relaxation that evening.
Shift #5: Cut off caffeine early.
In the ideal world, you quit drinking coffee or caffeinated tea altogether. That said, after hitting my fifties I began to realize the lure of giving oneself an energy boost in the morning, however artificial, so – not gonna judge. 😉
But realize that caffeine stays in your system for hours. Decide in the morning when your last cup of coffee for the day is going to be. Early afternoon, if not sooner, is optimal.
If you’re on medication for ADHD, adjust this tweak accordingly, perhaps after consulting with your doctor.
How to successfully get into your new menopause morning routine.
- Start with just one of the five above tweaks.
- Give it two weeks before adding something else.
- Track your actions and the results simply, on a calendar or notes app.
- Be flexible: 80% consistency beats 100% burnout from pushing through on days that you. Just. Can’t.
How to make these menopause insomnia tips work for your neurodivergent brain.
Whether you tend more toward autistic traits or more toward ADHD, your executive function limitations might make getting into a new routine feel like yet another hurdle that you just don’t want to deal with.
So, give yourself as much support as you need.
- Automate what you can: same breakfast, same walk route, and of course, same wake-up time.
- Prep visual reminders – sticky notes, laying clothes out – the night before.
- Use phone alarms.
- Use habit stacking by pairing existing habits with new routine segments. For example, get your sunlight while drinking coffee, or do some stretching while waiting for the kettle to boil.
- Accept that some days you’ll forget everything. Welcome to the world of postmenopausal neurodivergence.
- If you tend toward ADHD and the routine starts to feel suffocating, build in one “wild card” element that you change out every day or three.
When to ask for help for perimenopause sleep problems or menopause insomnia.
Once you’ve incorporated at least three of the sleep-friendly morning routine activities, and have been doing all three for a couple of weeks, you should begin to experience some improvement with your sleep. If you haven’t, there may be something else going on. I recommend that you talk to your doctor.
Sleep apnea, for example, is no joke. If you wake up gasping or choking, and/or have frequent headaches upon awakening, this may be the cause of your insomnia. It can cause much bigger problems down the line if you don’t treat it.
Anxiety or depression getting worse, as well as night sweats, likely indicate a need for hormonal intervention.
Menopause is hard, y’all. Push through that pathological demand avoidance about seeing a medical professional so you can get the help you need.
Better sleep during menopause? Naturally!
The good news is, most of my readers won’t need anything beyond the five new morning routine tweaks I described earlier. No medication needed, no spending hours at the gym or giving up your favorite comfort food.
You don’t even have to do it perfectly. I don’t do it perfectly. Just be consistent with most of the routine, most of the time. Even if you have to cut parts of it short sometimes.
What do you think about your choices in the morning affecting your body sixteen hours later? Do you have any sure-fire tips you’d like to add? Feel free to share in the comments!
