Personal space in a tiny house is important, especially for neurodivergent families. Here are 5 tips that have worked for my family, helping us to maintain good relationships.
The story.
With a sense of awe, my husband and I stepped into our nearly-constructed earth-sheltered house. My mind immediately began to picture the walls and rooms that we had decided our new home would have. I was so excited! It looked small, but it was a mansion compared to the 192 square-foot shed we’d been living in for over a year and a half.
Yes. Three of us. One of us being a boy under the age of ten.
Living in a tiny house.
Three months later, we moved into our new home. At first, it felt big. But within a couple of years, I was having serious misgivings.
Five hundred seventy-six square feet might not be tiny, but it was feeling mighty cramped to me.
“I need my space!”
For many people, living a simpler life that reduces stress includes downsizing their homes. They want smaller energy bills, less space to clean, less house to maintain.
But if you’re neurodivergent, extreme downsizing comes with a price. More than anyone else, we need personal space. Disappearing into a bedroom is often not enough, because of its proximity to every other room, and because it’s likely shared with others in the home.
It takes some experimenting and ingenuity for a family to resolve personal space issues in a tiny house – or even a very small home, like ours. I’d like to share what’s worked for us.
Personal space in a tiny home tip #1: Set up rules.
If there is even just one other person living with you in a very small home, you should establish a couple of simple rules regarding personal space.
If your bedroom has a door, you might have a “Do not disturb” sign to hang on the doorknob. If the other residents of the home see it, they are to leave you alone unless there’s an emergency.
An armchair can be turned a certain way to indicate that you want some privacy for a while.
Or you can simply state something like, “I’m going up to the bed to meditate. Please don’t bother me for the next fifteen minutes.”
Personal space in a tiny home tip #2: Rearrange furniture.
If you’re in a bona fide tiny house, this might not be possible. In a small home like ours, there’s more wiggle room when it comes to moving furniture around.
Turning the sofa away from the kitchen, for example, created a more personal space than when it was on a wall facing the kitchen. Two chairs that are against a wall facing out feel more private if they’re turned facing each other.
An armchair in a corner, with a bookcase standing on the open side, feels like a cozy, private nook – especially if there’s a window and/or you add a potted plant and comfy blanket to the space.
Personal space in a tiny home tip #3: Establish zones.
I’ve discussed this before in the context of a neurodivergent family living in a small home. But it bears repeating here.
As a family, you can agree that certain areas of the home are always shared spaces, and that other areas are to be considered private spaces. Because we’re talking small square footage, you may have to designate certain times of the day when the “private zones” are private.
For example, one corner or side of the living room might be a private zone during the day, but a shared zone after dinner.
Personal space in a tiny home tip #4: Sit with your back to the adjoining room.
Recently from when I’m writing this post, I’ve begun to feel a bit claustrophobic in the sense that I can’t really have any completely alone time. I’ve fantasized more than ever about moving into a large house with a full-time housekeeper, just so I can sometimes pretend that I live by myself.
Then, one day while my husband was at his usual spot at the kitchen table, I sat on the loveseat to read. Unlike my rocking chair, which faces the kitchen, the loveseat faces the opposite direction.
And suddenly, because my autistic husband mostly doesn’t speak unless spoken to, I felt like I was having a private moment.
The loveseat felt like a sanctuary.
So now, when I want to read or do some doodling but want that feeling of being totally alone, I will often sit in the loveseat.
Personal space in a tiny home tip #5: Have outdoor seating.
Another way I escape to be by myself is, weather permitting, traipse the thirty feet or so to where the picnic table sits. Even a small porch with a chair and small table can suffice when the walls feel like they’re closing in on you – because the people feel like they’re closing in on you!
Birds of a feather don’t always want to flock together.
Perhaps you’ve come to this article because you and your family want to downsize, but are dubious that everyone could find the personal space they need in a very small house. Perhaps you came because you’re already living in a small home, and are struggling to find privacy.
Whatever the case, I hope the above suggestions help. If they inspire you to come up with another creative way to make personal space in your crowded-feeling house, so much the better!
Happy simple living in a small home with all the personal retreat space you need. 🙂
