There are tons of money-saving tips floating around. But they don’t work for everyone, especially autistic women. Eight of those tips, and what to do instead.
The story.
I stared at my computer screen. Frowned. I totally couldn’t recommend those “how to save money with kids” tips to neurodivergent women. What, was I crazy when I wrote this? Lived like this?
No, just have a much-higher-than-normal level of willpower. Which makes me expect others to have it, too.
With a sigh, I sat back in my chair. Thought for a moment.
Nodding to myself, I went ahead and copied the section of my old book on simple living into the new blog post. But I wouldn’t leave it as-was. No, I would add in comments to explain why I now disagree with some of the ideas, given that I had a much better understanding of myself as an autistic woman.
Some money-saving tips are just too hard.
The above story happened the day before I wrote the article you’re reading right now. After some thought, I realized that it’s not just “how to save money with kids” tips that can smack up against the needs of a neurodivergent person, but money saving tips in general.
I thought of a few that might be difficult for autistic women, due to our sensory sensitivities, executive dysfunction, and the ways we tend to think. I’ve jotted them down here, along with ideas on how we can still live frugally even if following a particular frugal living tip is tricky.
#1. Cancel all subscriptions.
When we autistic adults find T.V. programs or a movie genre that we really enjoy, we tend to cling to them for all they’re worth. Watching them is a kind of stim, and, thanks to our “now is forever” kind of thinking, we have trouble imagining a future without it.
And not every television program or movie is available for free online. Many are exclusive to a subscription service, such as Netflix or Disney.
Instead of cancelling all your subscriptions and falling into a three-month depression from it, figure out your favorite service. Stick with that one and cancel the rest.
Or, see if you can find similar programs or types of movies on YouTube or DailyMotion and watch them for a week. If you find yourself not missing the other shows or movies as much as you believed you would, go ahead and cancel and get your entertainment for free.
#2 money-saving tip: Buy the least expensive clothing possible.
In this era of synthetic clothing, most autistic women could probably follow that advice. Modal and modal/cotton blends are comfortable and inexpensive, and chenille is as soft as rabbit’s fur and much more affordable.
But for some autistic women, it’s angora and cashmere or nothing. Or they can’t stand any summer fabric other than jersey cotton, but due to their staunch beliefs about reducing environmental toxins, will only purchase clothing made from organically-grown cotton.
This isn’t being “picky.” That’s a derogatory, ableist term from the neurotypical world.
Rather, it’s taking care of yourself.
If your sensitivities drive you to purchasing expensive clothing, wear it as long as you can. And seek to be frugal with personal accessories, such as jewelry, hats, scarves, and bags.
#3. Eat a 100% whole-foods, plant-based diet.
This is how I eat, but I don’t eat the usual way. And many autistic women can’t eat WFBP the usual way, either, due to sensitivities to the insoluble fiber in vegetables and/or the tough-to-digest whole grains.
Your rigid thinking might have you convinced that you can’t have optimum health without some meat in your diet. (Listen, not judging. I have my own, if different, ways of rigid thinking that don’t necessarily serve me.) Or cheddar cheese might be one of your favorite comfort foods.
When it comes to eating healthy, we tummy-sensitive neurodivergent women need to do the best we can to stay properly nourished.
That relates to…
#4 money saving tip: Don’t buy highly processed foods.
Highly processed foods, including white flour-based baked goods, are often on the “safe” food lists of autistic adults. Women in particular, whose hormonal fluctuation (or lack of it past age fifty) messes with digestive motility on a regular basis, sometimes have a hard time eating fibrous foods.
Many autistic women also use eating certain comfort foods as a stim.
The latter issue can lead to health problems. I highly recommend that you slowly replace unhealthy foods with better choices, consuming your old stand-by foods only when nothing else will do. If that’s difficult, or you know you’re overeating, you might want to see a nutritionist or therapist for a few weeks.
For the rest, do some experimentation. You might find that a small bowl of blueberries with almond milk and a few banana slices is as satisfying as a cinnamon roll and doesn’t bother your stomach.
What it comes down to is that you should eat the healthiest you can. Some days you can do better than others. But if you have to spend extra money on potato chips and white bread in order to get the calories you need, try to buy them with coupons and sales.
#5. Go without XYZ big appliance.
Some money-saving tips encourage you to live without a freezer. Or even a refrigerator. To give up your dishwasher and clothes dryer.
Giving up modern conveniences can be nightmares for autistic women. Doing things the old-fashioned way overloads our already-maxed-out executive function. It also takes away precious time for us to engage in our hobbies and research… which for us, are non-negotiable as far as our mental health goes.
Buy the highest quality of appliance you can at the least expensive price you can find, then go on with life and be happy.
#6 money-saving tip: Get rid of everything you don’t use or love.
I’m convinced Hoarding Disorder is actually a trait of autism, and if you have that problem, please, seek help.
That said, we autistic women are sentimental about our stuff. Even (especially?) our old stuff. We may not love it, and it may not be useful, but trying to give it away or throw it in the trash is like cutting off our own fingers.
Oh! Why is this a money-saving tip? Because the fewer things you own, the fewer storage boxes you have to buy, and the smaller home you need.
My best idea here is for you to use as much of your old “stuff” as possible for home décor. Not indulging in weekly trips to Hobby Lobby can make you rich right there!
And moving forward? Don’t buy stuff you don’t really need. You can’t get attached to something you don’t have. 😉
#7. Move.
Do I really have to explain this? We don’t like change. As long as you’re keeping up with the mortgage payment or rent, if you’re happy where you are, feel free to stay where you are.
Even if it’s preventing you from saving as quickly as you want.
Don’t drive yourself crazy for the sake of placating some financial guru that you’ll never meet.
#8 money-saving tip: Buy a cheaper car.
Again, we don’t like change. Also, the executive function required to find another vehicle may be beyond our reach.
We may have a compelling reason not to switch to a different vehicle. Physical comfort comes to mind. As well as the lack of noise it makes when we’re rolling down the freeway. Perhaps the new-fangled ability to see what’s behind us on the dashboard is a lot less frightening than driving an old “beater” that requires us to line up all the mirrors perfectly, yet still have a blind spot.
Share your money-saving tips that work for you!
The above is hardly an exhaustive list. If you’re autistic and you’ve struggled with a different piece of common money-saving advice, feel free to share it in the comments below, along with whatever solution you may have found.
PS – If you need help with a budget and want something visual that’s not complicated, try this one on for size.
